makingthisupasigo | And the Unpathed Waters

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And the Unpathed Waters - for Ezekiel Jones

It really was supposed to be a routine artifact grab. They actually did get the Shell Crown, and it was actually a successful mission, all things considered.

It was just Stone and Jones on this one, since a more pressing matter had called the others away to Europe, but it's not like Jake was going to complain. The Library had record of an ancient shipwreck off the coast of an uncharted and deserted Caribbean island, and the duo had chartered a boat and gone out there. It was clearly a magic island, it was only accessible during certain times of the year, during certain tides, through a certain channel on a dangerous reef.

Once they passed the reef the island came into view, looking like something out of Jurassic Park. The shipwreck was in a shallow, rocky reef--shallow enough to simply need snorkeling gear instead of scuba diving year, and after a few hours of searching--and complaining--they'd found the crown amongst the wreckage.

It was going so well, until Jake cut his leg on a piece of coral swimming back to shore, in only one of the most magical waters on the planet.

"Damn it," he grumbles through his snorkel, and could only hope there weren't any sharks around, as he kicked towards the sandier part of the beach. At least, he would have if things weren't getting so...blurry? He feels sick, there's something wrong...

"Jones? Jones! Where--"

He spits out his snorkel to yell, but suddenly, everything goes dark. Jake slips back underwater silently.

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"And now you're up to speed--wait, no, how can this be my fault, when I didn't do anything! People don't just--do this--"

Jake guestures wildly and aggressively at his own fin and then at Ezekiel's--

"--randomly when snorkeling! It just doesn't happen! We're actually having an argument, underwater, somehow--I don't even know how we're talking, vocal cords and water pressure versus air--anyway, it doesn't matter--what matters is we gotta fix this! And it's your fault! Because how else is this supposed to have happened?!"

As he's wildly guesturing, his fins are doing angry, involuntary flailing of their own. He's doing his best to ignore this.

Edited 2018-05-26 14:57 (UTC)

"I didn't do anything either! Unless you wanna let trying to save your sorry ass from drowning count? Maybe you offended the sea gods. Maybe we've been cursed because you're such a lousy swimmer!"

He doesn't seem too concerned about the whole talking underwater thing. Hey, if fish could do it why shouldn't they?

"Maybe we can find something in the wreck to help us out. Maybe it wants its stupid crown back."

Ezekiel looks down at his fin, tentatively trying to make it move. Alright, it's a bit like dancing lasers, a bit like surfing only you have to surf everything at once not just what is below you, it's a bit like swimming, too, but also like balancing on a rope... With a big fanning movement he manages to pull himself upright, arms windmilling briefly.

"Oh my God, this is so weird!"

"Those are the least plausible reasons for this that could possibly ever happen!"

Okay, yeah. They should--try to figure out a plan. He nods, trying to calm down. "The wreck. Magic--could be something in the wreck that did this to us, too. We need Jenkins. My phone's on the beach, and there's a radio on the boat."

Of course, that required actual swimming with this stupid fish tail, so...

He scowls at Jones. "How did you manage to get upright so quick?"

Jacob tries the same move, and only succeeds in faceplanting in the sand, and twisting his smaller, frilly fins under him. It's entirely too weird that he can feel them hurt--it's still not registering that the entire fin is part of him, he moves awkwardly and it's like the stupid thing has a mind of its own, he wishes he had proper legs and maybe if he tries to use his brain to think 'walk', it'll swim on its own but no--

He's still faceplanted, fin flailing heavily and pointlessly behind him.

"Dammit!"

Edited 2018-05-26 15:39 (UTC)

"What are you doing?"

Ezekiel watches Stone with open bafflement on his face, almost too surprised to make fun of him. Almost. "Just move the fin. Like giant flippers?"

But all Stone does is wiggling pathetically in the sand and it's too much. Ezekiel sinks down to prop himself up on his elbows because it's impossible to keep upright when he's laughing so hard.

"You look like the world's biggest mudskipper!"

"I'm trying to swim, which is impossible with this stupid thing?!" Behold his rage, Jones. He jabs a finger accusingly at the fin. And this is so not funny? You're getting all the Glare.

"You could be the tiniest bit more helpful!"

Okay, just--move it like flippers. He tries to kick out, even though it didn't exactly work like legs, it manages to flick up enough to propel him--

--face-first in the sand.

Progress!

Oh God, this is too good. If he weren't underwater he'd be crying he's laughing so hard. Why do electronics not work on the bottom of the sea, this will be lost to the world forever, it is a tragedy!

"Alright, Flounder, let's get you up."

Taking pity on his friend eventually Ezekiel swims over and grabs Jake's arm, pulling him upright.

"Just... pretend you're kicking with both legs and balance at the same time. You got these electric bull thingies, don't you? The ones that try to throw you off? Kind of like that. It's all in the body tension."

This is his grumpiest face, as he's pulled upright by Jones. It's irritating that he can't manage to figure this out on his own, for one thing, and really, bro, you're gonna laugh at him the whole time?

"Electric bull thingies? Really?" But that's actually not a bad comparison, considering the core muscles and balance needed. Except he's riding the shiniest, most ornery bull--and he's underwater. "Okay. Okay, it's like riding. Sorta." A pause. This is probably the furthest anyone could get from a bar in Oklahoma, but knowledge was knowledge.

He does his best to try kicking again, but he keeps mostly upright this time.

"Hey? I'm doin' it?!"

The whole time and then some more, you better believe it. You are never living this down.

Ever.

But for now Ezekiel grins, patting his back. Which feels weird, because shouldn't his arm have more resistance in the water? He can move surprisingly fast. It's kind of cool.

"There you go! See? Told ya, piece of cake."

This is the worst. How could you, Jones?

"Piece of cake?!" The grumpiest Look is never leaving his face. "Piece of cake?! Like this is easy? We're underwater, breathing water somehow, we've got fins and no legs, and it's a piece of cake?!"

His blood pressure, please.

Jake tries to swim a little more, it's still a terribly clumsy action, wasting far too much energy, but at least he can propel himself in sort of the right direction!

"If you tell anyone about this..."

"Tell anyone?" Ezekiel places his palm over his heart. "Would I ever do that?"

Look, it's not like he's not concerned about their situation, it's just, there's really not much he can do about it now and your face hitting the sand bank is the most hilarious thing he has seen all year?

They'll find a solution to this eventually. For now, Jones is just rolling with it, really. Or rather flipping with it.

"Don't wiggle so much, you can do it with like half the movement."

"Yes. Yes you would. You'd tell the whole world if you could."

He could only imagine what would happen if Ezekiel had access to a camera right now.

"I'm not wiggling so much!"

He totally is. But Jake tries again, listening to his advice, at least--he tries not to make such giant movements, and little by little, he's actually swimming. He makes a tentative circuit around Jones without managing to drive himself face-first in the sand.

"This is weird as hell."

"Mate, you're like a belly-dancer on a hot plate."

Ezekiel smirks but lets up for now, giving Jake an encouraging thumbs-up when he manages to swim around him.

"I know, right? Deep Sea Twilight Zone. How does that even-- Hey, weren't you bleeding earlier?" He suddenly very distinctly remembers freaking out about that.

Seriously, Jones? Jake glares daggers, he's gonna get you back the next time they have to go through something like this and you end up in a hilarious predicament.

"Bleeding? Oh yeah, I just cut myself on some coral, but that was right before..." he manages to swim upright to inspect his fin, but there's no sign of any injury. Not that he can exactly pinpoint what part of his leg correlates with the part of the fin, it's much larger and longer than his legs would have been anyway.

"Weird. Must've healed up after this happened."

Ezekiel frowns, the moments before he passed out slowly coming back to him. Sinking, and then a sharp pain and the need to breathe... "I cut myself, too, I think, when you dragged me down."

He glances down at his arm but there's no trace of any injury whatsoever. "Think that might have something to do with it?"

"You did?" That gets a thoughtful look. "It could be. It happened to both of us within moments of this actually happening--wait, I dragged you down? You tried to save me?"

He glances around, the reef's not too far in the distance, sloping upwards back towards the island.

"We need to take a sample." A pause. "Damn it, my belt and bag are gone. Probably fell in the reef. Do you have the crown?"

Ugh, don't mention it. They're not going to dive (heh) into his concern here, unacceptable. "Yeah well. Didn't want the others to mope because you managed to drown yourself while snorkeling. How would you even explain that one."

Ezekiel takes a look around, glad for the change of subject and dashes over the ocean floor in a quick sweep of the nearby area. "I had it with me when I sank, it's gotta be around here somewhere..."

That gets a real big smile. "Oh man, yeah, can you imagine Eve's lecture? Pssh. Good luck with that one."

"Look out for my stuff, too." Jake swims on ahead--he's still nowhere as fast or graceful as Jones, which is still annoying, but at least he can swim, and he picks over the sand and rocks nearby, before spotting his bag hanging off of a rock.

"Hey, I'm gonna get a sample!" He calls out, swimming over to use a knife to cut a piece of a nearby coral. He mutters under his breath. "Jenkins is going to kill us, isn't he?"

"I know, right?" Thank you for being a manly man dude friend, bro, and accept his glossing over unspoken care for your safety. He appreciates it.

Picking up their gear strewn across the ocean floor Ezekiel takes a moment to think through their situation. It's not looking too good, if he's being honest. How are they going to contact the Library? They can't make phone calls, they can't go on land; who knows if they can even talk when they're not underwater? It's a problem, because it means that whatever this is? They have to solve it themselves or they're gonna be stuck.

And no matter how hilarious Stone's outrage may be, Ezekiel really doesn't want to play Under the Sea with him forever. "Found the crown!"

Don't mention it, bro. Seriously, never mention it.

Jake wraps the sample up in a handkerchief--not the most ideal situation, but better than nothing--and swims over to Jones, handing the bag over to him. "Here. I'll hang onto it."

Similar thoughts are going through his head--this thing could turn ugly, real quick. They could get chased by a shark, run into some other magical whatever and make things worse, not to mention simply contacting the Library was a giant, impossible challenge. Jake glanced up at the surface, a rippling, silver barrier that's never made him nervous before. And now, he's looking at it with apprehension.

"Okay, we need a plan of attack, here. We gotta figure this thing out. Or we're gonna end up having to swim to Portland and that'll take months!"

Edited 2018-05-27 10:25 (UTC)

"Why should you be the one to hang on to it? I'm clearly the better swimmer."

And to make a point, instead of handing over the crown, Ezekiel slips it on his head. "How do I look?"

Like an extra out of a Disney movie, but who's counting?

"Do you know anything about this mer-stuff? Maybe we can check out the wreck now that we don't need to breathe and can see weirdly clearly under water. Maybe you'll find some drawing symbol thingy that will tell us what we're up against."

"Out of the both of us, who's more responsible?"

The heaviest of all underwater sighs. "Take it off! That's a priceless artifact and you're gonna break it!"

There's a nod, and suddenly Jacob gets excited, ready to show off endless historical knowledge. "Well, mermaids are from folklore all around the world, it's surprisingly fairly universal. You've got your Greek sirens which actually aren't like traditional mermaids as we think of them, then you've got Mesopotamian artwork, the first mermaid stories from ancient Assyria, sea people in One Thousand and One Nights, plus you've got your British folklore where merfolk are bad omens..." A pause. "Gonna have to agree with them there."

"I'm not gonna break it! On my head is the safest place for this thing, really. What if you fall over and flop your fin on the bag?"

Leading the way back towards the wreck Ezekiel curls his nose. Stone is in his element; doubly so, with the element being all water-related, and the thief stifles a sigh (potentially a yawn) in return when the lecture starts. He's gonna have to listen to an entire lexicon of mermaid-related entries, isn't he.

"Bad omen, huh? Well, you can say that again. Any stories how you get turned into one?"

"Please don't tell me you're going to wear a shell crown the entire time we're down here." This is just too much, Jones.

Yes. Yes you are. Jacob does his best to keep up as he goes over all the art and stories and legends he has at his disposal.

"There's a surprising amount, actually? It wasn't all 'the Little Mermaid.' The first mermaid story was from Assyria, where a goddess named Atargatis took the form of a mermaid after she accidentally killed the human, mortal shepherd she loved. Well, technically first she tried to be a fish, but her divine beauty couldn't be concealed by the water--oh, and then you've got Alexander the Great's sister, who turned into a mermaid because her brother bathed her hair in immortal waters, as he had a quest to find the Fountain of Immortality. When he died, his sister tried to jump in the ocean to die. Became a mermaid instead. And then she'd pass judgement on sailors who encountered her. If you answered her wrong, she'd turn into a gorgon and destroy you."

"I will absolutely wear that shell crown and look amazing." And potentially pretend he is royalty, should they ever run into other merpeople.

But for now there are other things on his mind – or rather he's desperately seeking for something to keep it occupied because Stone is filling his head with old, boring stories, blah blah, goddess here, blah blah, sad love and vengeance there, blah blah nobody ever really talks to each other, everybody is really sad...

He sobers a bit at the last story because wow, that is actually kind of sad. And confusing.

"Why would she turn into cheese?"

"You're going to break it! You're going to break a priceless artifact!"

Plus he really doesn't want to explain about potential royalty should they run into any other merpeople.

"--wait, what?"

It honestly takes him a second for it to sink in what Jones was asking, what he'd confused the words for. He floats, bobbing along in the current before exploding.

"Are you kidding me?! I said gorgon, not Gorgonzola! A gorgon is a mythological Greek monster! Not a cheese!"

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cw accounts of suicide

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