makingthisupasigo | And the Unpathed Waters

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And the Unpathed Waters - for Ezekiel Jones

It really was supposed to be a routine artifact grab. They actually did get the Shell Crown, and it was actually a successful mission, all things considered.

It was just Stone and Jones on this one, since a more pressing matter had called the others away to Europe, but it's not like Jake was going to complain. The Library had record of an ancient shipwreck off the coast of an uncharted and deserted Caribbean island, and the duo had chartered a boat and gone out there. It was clearly a magic island, it was only accessible during certain times of the year, during certain tides, through a certain channel on a dangerous reef.

Once they passed the reef the island came into view, looking like something out of Jurassic Park. The shipwreck was in a shallow, rocky reef--shallow enough to simply need snorkeling gear instead of scuba diving year, and after a few hours of searching--and complaining--they'd found the crown amongst the wreckage.

It was going so well, until Jake cut his leg on a piece of coral swimming back to shore, in only one of the most magical waters on the planet.

"Damn it," he grumbles through his snorkel, and could only hope there weren't any sharks around, as he kicked towards the sandier part of the beach. At least, he would have if things weren't getting so...blurry? He feels sick, there's something wrong...

"Jones? Jones! Where--"

He spits out his snorkel to yell, but suddenly, everything goes dark. Jake slips back underwater silently.

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"Please don't tell me you're going to wear a shell crown the entire time we're down here." This is just too much, Jones.

Yes. Yes you are. Jacob does his best to keep up as he goes over all the art and stories and legends he has at his disposal.

"There's a surprising amount, actually? It wasn't all 'the Little Mermaid.' The first mermaid story was from Assyria, where a goddess named Atargatis took the form of a mermaid after she accidentally killed the human, mortal shepherd she loved. Well, technically first she tried to be a fish, but her divine beauty couldn't be concealed by the water--oh, and then you've got Alexander the Great's sister, who turned into a mermaid because her brother bathed her hair in immortal waters, as he had a quest to find the Fountain of Immortality. When he died, his sister tried to jump in the ocean to die. Became a mermaid instead. And then she'd pass judgement on sailors who encountered her. If you answered her wrong, she'd turn into a gorgon and destroy you."

"I will absolutely wear that shell crown and look amazing." And potentially pretend he is royalty, should they ever run into other merpeople.

But for now there are other things on his mind – or rather he's desperately seeking for something to keep it occupied because Stone is filling his head with old, boring stories, blah blah, goddess here, blah blah, sad love and vengeance there, blah blah nobody ever really talks to each other, everybody is really sad...

He sobers a bit at the last story because wow, that is actually kind of sad. And confusing.

"Why would she turn into cheese?"

"You're going to break it! You're going to break a priceless artifact!"

Plus he really doesn't want to explain about potential royalty should they run into any other merpeople.

"--wait, what?"

It honestly takes him a second for it to sink in what Jones was asking, what he'd confused the words for. He floats, bobbing along in the current before exploding.

"Are you kidding me?! I said gorgon, not Gorgonzola! A gorgon is a mythological Greek monster! Not a cheese!"

"I have never broken anything priceless in my life!" He sounds insulted at the mere suggestions. "What kind of thief would I be if I damaged the valuables?"

It's more a question of if this oyster tiara should be regarded as valuable or valuable.

"Huh." Ezekiel frowns. "So that's where the name comes from. They probably smell very similar."

Yes, that's what he's taking away from this.

There's a pause and some bubbles float past.

"Okay, I'll give you some of that, but have you ever handled a delicate crown like that!? It's made of shells, man."

And there's an even longer pause, and he just stares.

"How are you even a Librarian?"

"We're underwater. What am I gonna do, drop it? Oh no!"

To demonstrate, he shoves the crown off. It sinks comically slowly, only to land in Ezekiel's open palm before he slips it back on his head.

"I really don't see what that has to do with anything."

Jacob sputters, throwing his hands out in exasperation as Jones catches the slowly floating crown and puts it back on his head.

"That's not the point! That's not the point at all!"

His fin lashes in agitation. "You should have at least like, a basic understanding of-of history, art, literature--what if something happens and I'm not there to explain something to you?"

"Uh, I'd google it."

There. Problem solved.

Just...the longest look. The longest, longsuffering look ever. And then--

"And look where we are right now! We're UNDERWATER!"

So many bubbles from throwing his arms out. "You're not always gonna be able to google stuff! You're not always gonna have your phone!"

So very unconcerned.

"So what? We're underwater. We have fins. And you don't know any more than me what to do about it. Besides, if you didn't have me you'd still be flopping around like some reverse fish on dry land."

So there.

How can you be so unconcerned, Jones?!

But there are more important things to focus on, like--

"I woulda figured it out eventually!" He doesn't need your help. Except when he does.

Edited 2018-06-06 18:32 (UTC)

"And how can you call yourself a Librarian if you can't even pick a single rusty triple-pin lock while snorkeling? Like, oh. The one of the chest where the crown was in?"

Breaking out the sass? Breaking out the sass.

"That's not a required skill for a Librarian!" Except it probably was, but his salt levels are outpacing the ocean itself at the moment.

Please contain your sass, Ezekiel.

"Face it! You wouldn't get anywhere without me!"

"Not for a regular Librarian, just an awesome one."

Can't stop, won't stop.

"And you got it backwards, mate. I'm the one who gets us places. You wanna know how many times I got you into a building or out of one?"

"You can't define what an 'awesome' Librarian is!" Yes, he's doing air-quotes underwater. Or would those be water-quotes now? "And even if you could, knowing Greek history and legends would be first on the list of required knowledge!"

"But would you know about the things the places are booby-trapped with? Or what artifact we're gettin'? Or how not to die because you picked up somethin' that's cursed or got a spell on it?" Of course, this is moot considering his knowledge didn't exactly help them on this mission, considering they'd both gotten themselves trapped in the ocean, but still. It's the principle.

"I just did: It's me. I'm the awesome Librarian. Dibs on the name!" So there. There's no doubt about it as far as he is concerned.

Ezekiel tilts his head at him. The crown tilts dangerously with it. "You can be the literate Librarian."

Just...you're destroying every last shred of his patience, Jones. You better hope there's no sharks nearby because he will just wrestle it to the ocean floor and keep on arguing.

"You realize if you call me the 'literate' Librarian, it implies the rest of you are illiterate!? Which makes no sense, considering what a Librarian traditionally is!?"

A pause.

"And if anyone is the awesome Librarian, it's me!"

A pause as Ezekiel frowns thoughtfully, considering this.

"So you're saying you don't want to be the literate Librarian?"

Which, of course, would make you the illiterate Librarian, Stone. "You can't have it both. Don't be greedy, that's not a very Librarian-y trait? Learn to share!"

It's a surprise the heat of a thousand suns from Jacob's rage doesn't boil the water around them.

"Of course I'm the literate Librarian--we're all literate Librarians!" Why is this happening? Why do you torment him so, Jones? "Is this really that important right now!?"

Ezekiel's face lights up with a boyish grin.

"So you do think I'm literate. Why shouldn't I call myself a Librarian then?" And now they've come full circle. Thanks!

"I guess not. Should we check out the ship then?"

...did you just...completely turn what he just said around?

...he's just going to float here and glare at you forever, Jones.

Except checking out the ship did sound like the best thing to do at the moment--other than glare at you with the intensity of a trillion supernovae--so Jake holds his hands up.

"Fine. Fine, whatever, I don't care, let's just fix this so we can get outta here!" He points aggressively in the general direction of the ship, and starts to swim off. Swim badly off, but he's moving, at least.

"Sounds good to me!"

Ezekiel smirks as he watches Stone flipflop away. He will never tire of this. ... Or the way Jacob hilariously wobbles through the water.

"Hey, try not to hit the hull!"

Jake twists his stupid fish tail out of the way just in time, and crashes into the sand near the hull of the ship, sending up a plume of dust that muddies the water for a second. He waves his hand in front of his face, trying to clear the cloud.

"I had it under control! You messed me up!"

It was totally Jones' fault, of course.

Ezekiel almost loses his balance, too, he's laughing so hard. Sorry, there's trying to be sympathetic and then there's Stone and his... everything right now. "Oh my God, I wish you could have seen that! It's like a Saturday Morning Cartoon come to life!"

Grinning, he swims over, holding out a hand to help him up. "I will cherish that memory until my deathbed!"

"It's not funny, Jones!"

He's so mad at you right now for laughing, he glares at his hand except that he really does need his help to get back up, his stupid fin is twisted underneath him and half-buried in the sand. "How'd you like it if we were on horses and you kept fallin' off!?"

He just feels relieved there's nothing to record this right now.

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