He was too afraid to. That's what it boiled down to, wasn't it?

Too afraid to find out if he was going to add Carter's name to the list of people he's killed. An innocent name.

He was mad about what Moreau did to him.

"I..."

He freezes. He trembles slightly, brimming with anger and regret and a slew of feelings that felt like poison in his gut.

Carter's in his face and he hates the way he's looking at him like that. So different from the last smile he'd given him.

And then he can't hold it back anymore, careful Eliot who always watches his back and is careful with his words and for a second he forgets why he's here because it's more important than anything that Carter knows--

"--I stopped. I stopped, and it was cause of you."

It wouldn't take back anything Carter's said. That was all true and it was on his soul and he'd never be clean of it.

"The retrieval jobs? It's because I stopped killing."

But he needs Carter to know.