What's done is done and there's nothing he can do to take it back. And he's trying to fix it and...well, that's not going so well, either.

He stares at the table for a moment, working his jaw.

"Maybe you're right." He certainly knows he doesn't deserve any actual help from Carter in trying to make himself feel better, it's his mistakes and he deserves every ounce of pain that's resulting from this.

"But I can't give up on you."

No.

"...I don't want to give up on you."

But if Carter truly and honestly didn't want to be saved from this, what could he do? It felt like something was pulling apart his heart, tearing it into tiny shreds. A part of him is angry, chastising himself for letting himself feel in the first place--this is why he shut it all down before, because getting emotionally involved was the quickest way to getting killed out in the field. He thinks back on what he told Carter before--

And I'm tellin' you that now, you will die if you let this stuff in. When I was in the army, I saw guys--trained guys, mind you--completely fall apart in combat. And it's not their fault--they're good guys, they just couldn't put their feelings away. And I saw someone fall apart in the middle of a fight because their friend got killed...

Was he that someone? Was he just gonna get himself and Carter killed?