John watches Eliot slump and something in his heart hurts. But he can't change it. If he only hints at anything here, one of the men is bound to tell Damien.

And if Damien hears about it, John will be punished. And John can't ever, ever go through that again.

"I'm fine," he repeats, tearing his eyes away from Eliot's sad figure and flashing Brett a smile instead. "... Well, I'm really drunk," he admits after a moment, steadying himself on his arm.

But his smile falters when the fear threatens to overwhelm him again. "Damien knows I didn't... didn't run away, right?"