makingthisupasigo | And the stars look very different today...

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And the stars look very different today...

It was a way out. But it wasn't home.

Truthfully, after Norfinbury, anything would be better than that place, but the cold truth was--there was no way to find his own universe out of the endless multiverse, even if Norfinbury's busted technology had worked properly. He was stuck, here, with a megalomaniac Flynn--granted, a Flynn that managed to open up a portal out of there. Maybe that's what it took to get out of Norfinbury.

Or, Peter thought sometimes on bad days, Norfinbury only released you once you became the twisted version of yourself it wanted you to be. A specially-designed virus inflicted on countless worlds.

Besides, he ought to know something about that.

He didn't stay long on earth, he couldn't. Maybe it had something to do with the mystery of how they were revived in Norfinbury, their bodies recreated or cloned or healed, or maybe it was something that was gonna happen to him anyway, but he could feel the Light burning inside him, inside his head almost as soon as he landed. A desperate need to take to the stars. He'd managed to create a ship and took off.

Time passes, and scientists notice something odd about several exoplanets they're monitoring, especially ones marked as 'earth-like' or other planets in zones that could make them potentially habitable. Bright bursts of light and changes in the composition of the atmosphere or surface, it was inexplicable. Possible evidence of intelligent life? If they didn't know any better, especially with the rocky planets that now somehow boasted extreme changes, it was like something was terraforming them.

There was cause for alarm when Mars suddenly turned blue and green a few months later.

Meanwhile, a small blue-and-orange ship that looked suspiciously like a slightly more organic-looking Milano was racing towards the earth.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ezekiel listens because he's too busy munching the pizza. It's good. If everything goes to waste maybe he should work for this guy instead. At least there's crusty gold on the end of the apocalyptic rainbow?]

So learn from your mistakes. Make it better next time. Don't give up on the cheesy dream, I believe in you!

[A pause in which he tilts his head at the guy.]

Sooo... why do you?

Thanks, bro! I'll do my best! [Peter shoots finger-guns at him. Hey, if he thinks he can achieve his cheesy dream, then he's gonna go for the crusty gold!]

...why do I?

[He looks away for a second.]

...because I have to.

[Never let anyone tell you you can't make a digestive system that can eat pizza all day! Finger guns back at you.

He takes another slice.]

Why? Aren't you like, really powerful and everything? Who could make you do anything?

It's...a little hard to explain.

[He scratches his head, and then points at the pizza.]

You ever been so hungry you thought you'd do anything just to get a bite? It's kind of like that.

It's kind of like an itch you have to scratch. But way worse? And that's all you can think about?

And besides, it just...makes me feel better.

Oh. Like taking the things you want because nobody ever let you have them? Yeah, I get that.

[Ezekiel, please don't empathize with the genocidal maniac.]

Feel better about what? You can fly around in a spaceship. You can make pizza out of thin air! What could you possibly feel bad about?

I know, right? [He totally gets that, bro!]

[A disturbed look crosses Peter's face.]

Did Flynn ever tell you about Norfinbury?

Norfinbury? Yeah, he did, a little.

Apparently it really sucked?

Yeah. And that's putting it lightly. It was the suckiest place that ever existed. Take your worse nightmare? Multiply it by a gazillion? That's only like the barest surface of how awful Norfinbury is.

Taking over planets is one of the few things that helps me forget.

[Ezekiel munches on his pizza noisily. That sounds like SUCH a rough spot to be in, mate!]

Have you tried one of the other few things that help you forget?

Yes, actually. But this is different. It helps like nothin' else does.

I mean, sorry about your luck, bro. I don't actually mean to be killin' people? And it's not like I took over the galaxy all in one go, like my dad. Doing it slower like this gives people a chance to get away or something. I don't care if people come back to live on my new planets. It's cool.

That's cool and all, mate, except where it's really kind of not. Have you tried video games? Same principle, nobody really has to die.

[He shrugs.]

I could totally program you a virtual planet taking over game. It'd be awesome. Could even have different challenges and difficulty modes.

...so like, Pac-Man? Except eating planets? And no ghosts?

...I don't know if that'll have the same effect. And even if it didn't help, I'd still need to do it. I just...need to. Especially earth. I need earth the most.

Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it. My games are awesome. And I could totally make you a virtual Earth to conquer.

That obsession there sounds kind of unhealthy. Besides, shouldn't you be above anything telling you what to do?

That actually sounds really awesome?

You'd think so, y'know, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I still really, really, really want earth.

It's no hard feelings. I could even keep you guys in my ship while I do the thing so you won't get killed. Then you could live on an even better earth. Win-win, right?

Uh, that's actually really considerate for a genocidal takeover but there's really a lot of people on Earth so a lot of people would still die horribly so, you know... that plan still kind of sucks?

[He shrugs.]

You could just not kill everybody and live on Earth just like that? I do it. It's hard work, being so awesome among mere mortals but hey, at least there's a challenge?

Well, I mean, you guys don't have a good space thing going on right now so it can't be helped?

My plan is great, bro, it's not my fault you can't see it.

--you wouldn't be as awesome as me, bro. And I'd probably explode everyone's minds by just existing there. It'd be a mess.

Please. Ezekiel Jones' awesomeness is on a whole different plane of existence. Their minds are protected by how much I am already Number One in every conceivable way. So you can come to Earth, no worries, your awesomeness will be neutralized.

[Sorry Peter, that's just the way it is.]

Sorry bro, but I'm on an even higher level of awesomeness than that. I'm so awesome that the sheer inkling of a glimpse of a sliver of an iota of how truly awesome I am would kill every single living thing on the planet.

So no.

[Oh, it's on.]

Mmmmmmno, sorry mate. My awesomeness transcends death-bringing awesomeness. See, I have life-giving awesomeness? Which is much cooler than death-bringing awesomeness, because everyone who could attest your awesomeness is dead whereas with me, they're still there and bear witness to it.

You just pretend you're awesome. Easy to do that if everyone's dead. I have the living proof.

[Is it?]

That's a good point, but death is more powerful than life because everybody--mostly everybody--who's alive now will be dead soon? [Just immortal problems, bro.]

Thing is, if you're the awesomeness that causes everyone to just melt, then that's not pretending. That just is.

[So much.]

But there's no death without life and life is just much more awesome in itself than death? Life is pizza and video games and stealing things and visiting submarines and having beers with your pals so that totally gives me an awesome-in-itself boost over death. Because death is just bleeeeerh I'm Death and then that's that.

I actually agree that pizza and video games and stealing things and visiting submarines and having beers with your pals is way better than death. But death keeps coming all the same. With all its bleeeeerh.

Also I'd really like to visit a submarine so I need to figure out how to get one before I take over...

But you know what's even more awesome? Not taking over Earth and going to visit a submarine instead - several times! Because it's still there the next time because you didn't destroy it.

[Win-win??]

Or I could grab a whole fleet and make an awesome water maze when I do take over and it'll be even more awesome?

Okay, that DOES sound awesome.

For a video game.

Seriously, all of your ideas are prime material for a game, have you ever played one?

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